Top 5 Mythical Creatures

Mythical creatures have fascinated Man for thousands of years. They range from the horrifyingly scary and disturbed, to the most cuddly and cute things imaginable. These are our favorites.






Pain Train's List

5.  Mermaids

I can’t really place my finger on why I am so drawn to the mermaid. I have a sneaking suspicion it has to do with the fact that mermaids are always represented in an uber sexualized yet innocent manner. We are made to believe that they are extremely attracted to their human counterparts and do not have the capacity for malicious activity. As the mythical world is often dominated by the evil and occult, the benevolent mermaid is welcomed on my list. 

Watch out for Ursula

4. La Llorona

I first heard of La Llorona when I was traveling abroad in Mexico. Instantanously, I was enamored with this bizarre and tragic figure. She is said to travel the American Southwest looking for children to capture in the dead of night. A similar figure is represented in Irish mythology in the Banshee. As creepy as she is, I am curiously drawn to an inexplicable regal notion of her suffering.

Cry, cry, cry

3. The Sandman

There is an episode of the 90s TV show Bobby’s World that depicts the Sandman as a Laird Hamilton-isque sand monolith. This vision was sketched into my brain and every night I fell asleep with the hope that the Sandman would come sweeping in on his sand surfboard depositing guck into my eyes. However stupid this caricature of the creature may appear, it was a stable of my childhood slumber. 

Metallica's Inspiration?

2. Bigfoot

My fascinations with the hairy creature also know as Sasquatch is easily attributed to the inordinate amount of History Channel documentaries I watched on the topic as a child. These shows opened the door to the possibility that Bigfoot was not only real, but that it was simply waiting to be discovered. On every camping trip, a small part of me hoped to run into this very controversial figure and I thought it was half possible. Even today, I hope that there is some semblance of this hairy behemoth parading around the Cascades.

Is Bigfoot a he or a she? Does it have friends?
 


1.  La chupacabra

Without a doubt, the chubacabra became a family obsession growing up. I vividly remember how every year,  my brother and I desperately tried to get our club soccer team to take the namesake of our mythological hero. The chupacabra takes on special significance to the Latino community as every family has one story of a sighting on the family ranch. Although there is nothing blatantly terrifying of  them, the thought of little goat suckers running around does not put one’s mind at ease. I will forever be looking for the proof and explanation of the chupacabra.

The Pain Train never ceases to amaze

Kevin's List

5. Dragons

A classic mythical creature. Almost always the villain in stories and usually end up getting killed/beaten by the hero. From Knights slaying them in medieval times to Harry Potter stealing an egg from them in the Tri-Wizard Tournament, you would think Dragons would have a self esteem issue. But since they are basically dinosaurs that can fly and spit fire, they are not hurting in the self confidence department. Or the total awesomeness department. 

4. Pegasus

Sired by Poseidon and Medusa, Pegasus was always destined for greatness. Another flying animal, Pegasus soared through the sky and was a symbol for wisdom and fame. Pegasus probably deeply resents Unicorns for copying its style.

3.  Werewolves

Team Jacob, bitches. Another famous Werewolf includes Remus Lupin, probably the best defense against the dark arts teacher Harry ever had.

'Nuff said

2.  Zombies

I am not sure how Zombies become Zombies, but whenever that does happen, they are some of the coolest mythical characters out there. Anyone that plays Nazi Zombies will also attest that they can provide hours and hours of entertainment. 

1. Genies

Whatever anyone else chose on their list, Genies are obviously the best. They can provide you with anything you could ever want. They are either total hotties (I dream of Jeanie) or have hilarious coked up personalities. (Robin Williams) Plus, if you were smart enough, you would wish for unlimited wishes and be set forever.

Riding the white pony and I'm not talking about Pegasus here

T-Jack's List

5. Eros (The God of Love)

Son of Aphrodite (Goddess of Love) and Ares (God of War) he is often depicted with wings and a bow and arrow.  One of the most famous holidays in the world is attributed to him.  With a shot of an arrow love is given to the next person your eyes gaze upon.  Although this can be problematic he is an expert marksman.  So his arrows are well placed and carefully planned.

Orlando Bloom? Is that you?

4. The Sandman

As a person growing up I loved to sleep and still do.  I can’t wait until we meet every night.  Me sleep is very important to me, especially when he sends me to the dream world.  As I create this list at 9:45 pm I already anticipate our meeting that is in the near future. 

Sweet dreams!

3. Tooth Fairy

When you are a kid, losing a tooth scares the hell out of you.  That is until you are told the tooth fairy will visit and trade your tooth for money.  Who doesn’t love a person that gives you money.  And especially if she dresses like this.  I wish I could still lose my teeth and grow them back.

Or not

2. Leprechaun

You find the end of a rainbow or a leprechaun and you are certain a pot of gold is near by.  Even though I have yet to find either, I am constantly on the prowl.  Come to me you little green luck charm.

1.    Santa Claus

He has got to be the nicest man on this planet.  He and his elves work all year to make presents to give to people around the world.  He makes a list and checks it twice for mistakes.  He is a jolly old man with a smile that is contagious.  What is not to like about this man, unless you are  naughty of course.

This is what a lifetime of dealing with spoiled brats has done to St. Nick

lash's List

#5—The Phoenix—All-around solid selection. Transcends cultures, and has a history in several different mythologies, including Greek, Roman, Persian, Egyptian and Chinese. Lives up to 1,000 years and spawns a new bird from its ashes even then (some say it is just reborn, so maybe even bonus points for immortality). Recent media appearances include the highly popular Harry Potter Series

#4—Peyton Manning’s Wife—Perhaps the rarest of all the mythological beasts on this list. Rumor has it that the Google images search is now actually producing results (rather than just a bunch of question marks and random videos of Peyton commercials like it used to) but I am fairly convinced they are simply the work of some photoshop junkie in his mother’s basement with too much time on his hands. “Mrs. Manning” is so undetectable that for awhile, Peyton’s rare slumps were attributed to marital struggles with his big love tandem of Harrison and Wayne.

#3—Mermaids—Little introduction needed. Half fish-half babe, popularly used in countless folk tales and fantasies. Too much history to include, but origins can be traced to almost any literate culture, and dating as far back as ancient Assyria. Bonus points for hotness (most are).

#2—The Kraken—Huge. Seagoing. Sweet Name. Plenty of face-time in music, movies and literature. Frightening as hell. Likely extrapolated from sightings of giant squid in the Atlantic (also frightening as hell). Also, major bonus points for the sweetest sounding name on any of the lists.

#1—The Minotaur—Part man and part bull, which reminds me of myself to some extent, at least based on musculature. Also got to spend most of his adult life playing a giant game (the Maze) and having beautiful young women given to him. Good existence.

Till next Tuesday...